Numbers don't really matter but sometimes they shock the hell out of me!!!

Since June I have had a pair of jeans hanging in my closet, facing out so that I could see them and be motivated to fit my booty in them...they are cute, have embroidery on the cuff and when I first tried them on I couldn't get them over my hips...Sunday I wore them all morning, comfortably!  They are the same size as my dress pants that I recently bought three sizes smaller than I was wearing last Christmas...all of this seems rather unreal to me, I'm just now starting to see some changes in my body when I look in the mirror and then today I thought I would step on the scale; mid afternoon, after a good lunch with my clothes on...and holy cow!!! I am down at least 12lbs from last time I weighed just a week and half ago!!!  I'm not sure what it is that is doing the trick, I know I have been working a lot and when I work I am in almost constant motion, also, I haven't been hungry for awhile, I eat but just not very much and I have found that food just isn't as appealing to me since I have been working in the food biz, things look good on the plate but I just don't really want to eat...whatever is working it's magic on my booty, I'm not going to over analyze, I'm just going to appreciate it and keep on moving towards my goals.  I haven't been this weight or size since I believe early 2004 and that was motivated by a guy and lasted less than a couple of months...this time I'm motivated by other things and I know that I'm making lasting changes, with or without a guy in my life I'm doing this for me and my healthy future! 

So, now on to the next set of goals...more on this soon!

Summer break?

Wow!  I knew it had been awhile since I've blogged but I didn't realize it had been most of the summer.  The days have really just flown by and here it is almost Autumn, my favorite time of year.  The summer had its ups and downs for sure, we moved, just across town but as always moving is stressful and time consuming.  I have a new job, hostessing at a local diner/steak house, and my kids have started their senior year, football season is started and in the midst of all the chaos of my life I have somehow and somewhere lost three sizes!  As exciting as this has been for me I feel that I need to clarify that...since I had bought dress pants last I have lost three full sizes!  The last time I really bought several pair of work pants was when I lived in Seattle and I've been wearing them even as they have gotten bigger, when I started work at the beginning of September I was wearing them and was having serious issues keeping them up (which could be potentially embarassing carrying a full load of plates to and from tables) so I went to get another pair...and I kept having to go to the next size down.  It really was a surreal experience because when I look in the mirror I don't see anything different.  How can my booty really be wearing that size?  I don't feel that size...well, maybe I do just a little bit...so then I started trying clothes on from my closet that I haven't been able to wear comfortably and guess what?  They were fitting differently too!  I realized that I needed to try and see myself a little differently and stop being so mean to myself whenever I look in the mirror...I know that I hadn't been running or working out as often as I should've all summer or eating very healthy consistently.  Looking back however I know that I was working hard and not focusing on my weight and every thing I put in my mouth, just eating when I was hungry and stopping when I was full or before then, and moving as much as I needed and so there is something to be said about just letting it be, just living and not obsessing so much!

I'm rambling I know but I think the moral of this story is that there is a season for everything, a time to assess and change, a time to live and not worry so much, a time to love yourself no matter what size your currently sporting, and a time to be in awe that your body can let go and change without you pummeling the tar out of it every second of the day, and a time to do a little happy dance in the dressing room when you really get your booty in that size pants you haven't worn for quite a few years!

Love yourself!