Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dealing with emotional weight

I'm not sure exactly what my problem is but I know that I am struggling with some emotional junk that is weighing my progress down. I have been exercising like a trooper, I love to work out! My eating has been okay, but I have noticed over the past few days that I have eaten more than I should and not always followed my own rules...at first I thought I was just hungrier due to the increased exercise but now, I'm not so sure!

Although I have yo-yo'ed quite a bit over the years I haven't been to my "normal" weight since I was 19. Having babies never affected my weight so much, I was healthier when I was pregnant and didn't gain much weight and had no trouble losing baby phat, in fact I only gained 10 lbs total with the twins and lost 37 lbs the day I had them...(that was the best weight loss day of my life) nope, I can't put the blame of weight on my kids nor do I want to.

My problem is rooted a little deeper than that and a lot harder to talk about, but I suppose if I put it out on the proverbial table maybe, just maybe, I will be able to find a way to deal with it? (deep breath) When I was 19, almost 20 I was raped by my ex boyfriend, within a year I had gained almost 100 lbs. Everybody was freaked out and nobody had a clue what my problem was, my mom was pushing me to go to all these doctors and see if I had a thyroid issue, my best friend who I was to be her maid of honor soon, just smiled as I had multiple re-fittings of my bridesmaid dress to adjust to my ever expanding arse and my current boyfriend wasn't thrilled but as our relationship was fragile anyway, I think his reasoning was that I wouldn't leave him as long as I was fat.

After a few years of being absolutely miserable and stuffing down all the emotions that go along with being raped and never dealing with it I started to see a counselor who helped me to realize all the junk that went along with my ordeal. Somewhere in my mind I had decided that fat girls don't get raped or abused and subconsciously chose to put on a protective wall around myself, a nice thick wall of flesh.

I have spent a lot of years analyzing the why's and how's and the choices I have made that have got me to this place, I have used my fat to build a wall in almost all my relationships with men and now I want the wall to fall down and I wonder if I am subconsciously afraid of what will happen if it does come tumbling down. I believe I am strong enough to defend myself against rape or sexual predators, that isn't my fear.
I'm not really sure what my fear is.

I think that's about all I can write just now but I'm sure there will be more to come as I work this all out.

2 comments:

  1. You're such an amazing girl! This is your year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am in awe of how open and honest you are. It's like you are saying exactly what I feel, you are expressing my fears, my emotions, the same things that have happened to me, it's incredible reading this. I deeply appreciate what you've written and shared, you have really touched my heart.

    ReplyDelete